| Question: |
Do I need a lawyer? |
| Answer: |
He who represents himself in a court of law has a fool for an attorney. My feeling is that it is always better to have someone represent you; someone who knows the laws in your state and who is not emotionally involved. Do you need one? It is not a legal requirement but I would suggest it. |
|
| Question: |
Should I pay child support before the judge orders it? |
| Answer: |
Paying support to your children is always recommended. Just because you and mom are separated doesn't mean that you stop providing for your children. The answer is yes. Keep a log of every payment that you make, dates amount etc. Don't give cash; use checks or money orders only. |
|
| Question: |
My ex keeps changing my visitation time. How should I handle this? |
| Answer: |
It is important for you and mom to work together. The two of you need to share your weekly schedules and coordinate a time that works best for the whole family. Don't be afraid to verbalize your concerns regarding the schedule but don't argue about it. If you feel that you are unable to work out an acceptable schedule then you may want to inform your attorney. Sometimes parents must go to mediation to get this schedule ironed out. |
|
| Question: |
My ex calls me at the last minute and wants me to pick up the kids. I work too. What should I say? |
| Answer: |
First of all you need to determine if the last minutes notice stems from a truly urgent matter or not. If the matter is an emergency then by all means help out; your employer will understand. If you feel that these requests are being made in an attempt to harass you then keep a journal noting all the times that these requests were made and what time. Your attorney will be able to present this journal to the court and the judge can order her to stop if he or she determines that it is harassment. |
|
| Question: |
What should I do if I haven't spent as much time with my kids as I should have? |
| Answer: |
It is never to late to start spending time with your children. This is so very important for their emotional and psychological development. Take advantage of all visitations that are made available to you and any more that you can get. Even if you haven't spent as much time with them as you should have in the past it is important that you do it now. The court may take your lack of visitation as a sign that you are not interested in the children. More importantly your children may also make that same assumption. |
|
| Question: |
I am living with my brother and his friend. Is this an o.k place to bring my kids? |
| Answer: |
That all depends on what type of atmosphere the home holds. If there is a revolving door on the front of the home and a party every night then I would say that there were better places to take the children. Your children deserve to feel safe. They need to know that the place that you call home is also their home and they should feel good about going there. If your brother and his friend are responsible people and are willing to contribute to a positive atmosphere for your children then it would seem reasonable to bring them there. Ideally, if you can afford it, you should probably look at getting your own place. A place that can be just for you and your children. Having them help you decorate and set up the new home is a great way to show them that this is truly for them too. |
|
| Question: |
I just started a new company and work six days a week. Will this hurt me with the judge? |
| Answer: |
Holding a job is a very important thing. Owning your own business can be a great financial benefit but it can be time consuming as well. Take advantage of any free time that you have and spend it with your children. It is easy to want to take this one day a week and do something to unwind. You need to spend that time with your children; learn to unwind with them. Phone calls in the evening can also help. Kids love to talk on the phone. Even afternoon trips to the park or a trip to the ice cream store go a long way. Remember parenting time doesn't have to be lengthy but it does have to be quality time. Even picking up the kids for a couple of hours and helping them with homework or other projects will go a long way, both with the judge and the children. Not to mention that it will free up time for mom to get some things done as well. This takes some pressure off her and everyone will benefit from that; including you. |
|
| Question: |
I have been giving my ex cash for child support. Now she is saying that I haven't paid her anything. Help! |
| Answer: |
First of all, all your support payments should go through the state agency that handles that. If you are making payments to her prior to a court order then I congratulate you but you should not be giving her cash. Checks or money orders only...these leave a paper trail which is proof that you have paid and she has received. Hopefully you have kept some sort of journal or log on how much and when you paid her. It is possible that she deposited the money into a checking or savings account. Those records should be available for your attorney's review and perhaps the dates and amounts of the deposits will correspond with the entries in your journal. If she was simply spending the cash and you have no journal then it will be her word agianst yours in court. In any event, stop paying her cash and get a money order or write her a check. |
|
| Question: |
My ex has been squandering the child support that I have been paying. How can I stop this. |
| Answer: |
Unfortunately there is little or nothing that you can do once the money leaves your hands. If by squandering the money you mean buying drugs or gambling it away then this is something that your attorney needs to look into. Habits like those go far beyond just squandering the money; they put children in jeopardy and the court will act accordingly. But you can't control how she is spending the money. |
|
